This is an update to what will henceforth be referred to as My Nikon Fiasco.
I hadn’t been contacted by Nikon since their mess-up last week so, fearing the worst, I called them today.
In summary: they need a part for my Nikon D500 and they only ordered it today (perhaps just after my call?…).
It is very unlikely that I will have my camera back in time for my son’s tournament this weekend.
Strike 2, Nikon.
😡
—Peter.
Prosophos 
Peter,
If there were any way to help I would. I can FedEx a D7100 up to you overnight if that would help?
Dave! That’s so nice of you!!!
Thank you so much, but I would never be able to accept such a generous offer.
As it turns out, I’ve figured things out… see my newest post:
https://prosophos.com/2018/05/24/current-gear-3/